Letter to the Editor

The Atlantic magazine published an article titled "Step Aside, Joe Biden" and I have responded to it here:

Mister Cohen,

While I agree with you that we have many people in our society who age themselves right into incompetency and ignominy (e.g.: Diane Feinstein, Mitch McConnell, Mick Jagger, Roseanne Barr, Harrison Ford, and the ghost of Ayn Rand) I feel that you left out a major argument in favor of Joe Biden taking a second term! That reason being embodied by the painted corpse that is Donald Trump!

I'm a relatively young person myself and I hope that you take that to mean that I would prefer old people to get out of the way and let me and my people ruin the planet for a stretch, but I am willing to sacrifice a great deal to ensure that Donald Trump doesn't become president again. Keep the feeble ol' codger in the Oval Office. If he gets tired, I hear that the dust around the White House is quite bracing.

Joking aside, I do get what you're saying, that the tendency for people in our society to age without grace is a problem, but that kind of discussion should take place outside of the space that takes up the desperate effort to defend the presidency from another Trumpian onslaught.

Maybe this isn't your fault. Maybe its one of those unscrupulous editors of the Atlantic (probably the one throwing this letter in the trash right now) who decided to hijack your article and blaze "STEP DOWN, JOE BIDEN" on The Atlantic's home page. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? We're fighting a war here, people! It's all hands on deck! Don't fire 'til you see the whites in their eyes! Don't tell our geriatric seat warmer to sit this one out! This is getting so desperate that I'm mixing metaphors recklessly.

Oh, but what would the Atlantic be if not for the bastion of intellectual journalism and non-partisan reporting that would rather tell us how it is than to play the political game? Oh, do not disabuse me, but let me bask in the pure black lettering of your proud history. I've only recently found out that Santa isn't real.

-EA